“Imagination is an almost divine faculty which, without recourse to any philosophical method, immediately perceives everything: the secret and intimate connections between things, correspondences and analogies.”  — CHARLES BAUDELAIRE

I have to tell you, of all the designs for Church decor, this one is my favorite so far.  One thing that isn’t visible in this photograph is the disco ball revolving behind the head, giving off a swirling rainbow of colors as if the brain is in “active-mode” up there.   Every man-made thing that exists in this world started off as an image in the brain first.  Wow.

As I think about the theme for the month, I reflect upon where my imagination has taken me, and I anticipate where I am going in the future.   For me, if I am able to clearly visualize something in my mind, then I know that somehow I can achieve it.   I have also found that if a vision does not clearly come to me, no matter how hard I try, then I know that whatever it is isn’t right for me.

That may sound a bit strange, but I have to admit that when I was younger and tried to visualize myself as an old person with a certain other person, the pictures in my mind would never come to me.   At first it frightened me because I thought maybe one of us would die early or something, and the other would be left alone.  Then it made me sad because it made me realize that if I couldn’t see it, it probably wasn’t meant to be…for whatever reason.   And that has happened for me in myriad situations…so now I come to trust my instincts by trusting my imagination.

I love how the tulle flows upward and outward from the mind, and I sit to think about all the ideas “tulling” about in my imagination.   I also love how all the colors flow outward, reminding me of what I was yearning for in last month’s theme: color in my life.   As I look at all the symbols on the tulle, I am reminded of all the ways I can bring that color into my world.

For me, the most obvious symbol that jumps out at me is the giant pencil.  I do love to write, even though I do not do it as often as I would like.  And it’s also a reminder of the novels still “tulling” about in my imagination, waiting to come to life.

The next thing that stands out for me is the giant paint tube, reminding me of the color I wish to add.  For the longest time, I lived a grey existence…. and I am ready to ditch the dull and bring on vibrant life experiences!  Sadly, I have to put off silks for a bit longer.  My arm is not healing as quickly as I need it to in order to continue at this time.  However, I am NOT going to say that I will never be able to fulfill my dream of being able to do a performance… I just have to be more patient.  But I am not going to allow a setback to lead me back into the former doldrums.  There are other ways to color my world, and I am definitely feeling the desire to experience as much of that vibrancy as I possibly can!  I can also imagine doing that silks routine, so I know that it must be a possibility for me in the future!!  If I can see it, I can be it!

And that brings me to the butterflies.  For me, these symbolize the flights of fancy that dance around and tickle the insides of my head.  They also lead me to go out and finally do things that I had before only thought about.  The butterflies are going up and out of the mind… expanding outward.  That’s what I want for my life.  I want to expand my existence by getting up and moving outward from the sedentary life I once lived.   Butterflies also symbolize change.  I was also once a caterpillar shut up inside a cocoon– still, “housebound”– but that chrysalis has opened, and I am moving outward.  Slowly, yes, but surely outward!

So what do I hope to build now that I am determined to add that color to my life?

One thing I want is a new body– one that is healthier and stronger than it has been in many years.  That will take work to continue building it.

I have already begun through the Aerial Arts Challenge.  I am still a non-smoker after four months!  I am still working hard to eat healthier!  I am still juicing at least four times a week!  And I am still working out!  So I am still re-building this body.

I also want to build relationships.  As an introvert, this is much more difficult than re-building my physique.  I don’t connect well with others, and I find it difficult to maintain relationships.  It’s my own self-conscious feelings of inadequacy that I still deal with… so I need to work on figuring out which “gears” are not working properly in that realm and put some grease on them!  🙂

To do that, I will have to tap into the reasoning section of the ol’ brain so that I can discover where my introversion stems from, and how to overcome it in order to have lasting friendships.  It’s very easy to keep to myself.  What’s hard is getting past my social awkwardness (and I really AM socially awkward…) so that I maintain getting out of the house and keeping that colorful life I am working so hard to build.

As I continue to tap into my imagination, I know that the colors will continue to flow forward.