change

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Off the “Sick” Couch and Back Into Cirque Fit

Published January 12, 2013 by Susan Woodward

After having laid on the couch since I got home on Wednesday (with the exception of visiting the doctor on Thursday),  it actually felt good to get outdoors.  Now let me mention something really weird here… on Wednesday, it was freezing and there was a foot plus of snow on the ground.  It’s now Saturday, but it’s 60 degrees and nearly all the snow has melted away… how the hell long have I been locked up?  It’s as if I hibernated through winter and spring has arrived!  I thought I felt a little stiff from sleeping so much.   Then my senses returned; it’s just Rochester weather.  I am not kidding, but I actually remember a Halloween where we went water skiing in the morning, but by night it was snowing so hard we could have gone downhill skiing!

In any event, the big news is that I got out of the house.  Step one.

The first part of our Saturday program is to meet with our Health Counselor.  I just have to say, Patti is great!  She’s understanding and empathetic, while at the same time encouraging and challenging us.  We all shared about our intentions and our successes for the week… little changes that made a difference.  My “little changes” this week are as follows:

1- no cigarettes since Wednesday (and I pray for none hereafter!)

2- cinnamon and honey regimen morning and evening (since Monday… when I went to the doctor on Thursday for my URI, my blood pressure– which is typically high– was actually in the normal range, and my resting pulse rate was 84.  It is typically over 100.  I will attribute this to the lack of nicotine and the increase of the tea mixture.)

3- lemon water (and more water in general)

4- more fiber (since I have been sick, I have been eating soup for the past few days.  For added fiber, I added legumes to the soups.  More filling, lower in fat, and the toxin-cleansing bonus)

So far, so good… even with the flu.  I am sure that once I am permanently off this sick couch, I will better feel the effects of the changes.

Patti also gave us some homework:  Cultivating Awareness about our present eating habits so that we can remove those blocks to change.   Write down three things that you have become aware of that you do that block your progress.

1- I have a tendency to eat on the run.  Whether it is from driving through Tim Horton’s for coffee and a breakfast sandwich, or hitting the dollar menu when I am in between places that I have to be, my car floor is littered with wrappers.  I need to make time to sit down and eat… but when I am not at my home in between school and the Challenge classes (drive time and gas), I will have to figure something out.

2- When I am home, I eat in front of the television or the computer screen.  Since my son works nights, we don’t eat together.   Being home alone, I don’t fix a nice plate and sit down at the table… but maybe I can start doing that once in a while.  I cannot commit to doing it every meal (at least at this point) because I’ll feel like a failure the first time I take my plate in front of Judge Judy.

3- I have a hand-to-mouth problem now that I am not smoking.  I need to get some carrots and celery.

Ok, Patti… there’s my homework!!  Of course, blogging during the week counts, too!

After meeting with Patti, it was time for Cirque Fit.  At kicked my ass on Monday, and it kicked my ass today!  I took a few water breaks and pulled back a bit with the running in place because of my URI and because of my knee.  Other than that, I did my darnedest to try to keep up.   I know that one of the greatest benefits that I will gain from Cirque Fit is strength and endurance… and the operative words in this sentence are “WILL GAIN.”  I don’t have them yet, especially the strength part.  Chris gave me some tips on how to strengthen my core so that I will eventually be able to lift my legs off the ground… after seven pregnancies, five babies, and six abdominal surgeries over the past thirty years, I have to actually FIND my core so that I can begin to strengthen it!  I think the pain in my abdomen after today’s workout is a good indicator that I am looking in the right area… but any sense of core strength will probably attempt to allude me for a while.  And now that I know HOW to strengthen those muscles, I am praying that my feet will finally lift off the floor when I do a V-sit!

The GOOD news is that I did not face plant during push ups! While I still cannot do a full push-up, my modified ones are much better than they were on Monday.  I am taking it from the knees, but keeping my back straight.  I am also keeping the elbows close to the body and not allowing them to bend outward while pressing down.  I can’t go down all the way yet, but I am going halfway so that I am able to push myself back up.  Anything past half, and I would not be able to push upward.  I’ll keep working on my push-ups and one day I will finally get to where I can do a “real” one without modification!

I do know that I was getting a good workout in though, in spite of having to stop to catch a breath.   I looked down to check my knee brace position, and my pants were sweaty all around the knee brace… even my knees were sweating!  So, for me, that was a strong indicator that I was getting a good workout!

After Cirque Fit, it was time for open aerial practice.  Because I missed class on Thursday due to illness, I had to catch up on the new routines for practice.   They involved several types of apparatus:  the trapeze, parallel bars (only about 6 inches off the floor, though), silks hammocks, and the wall.

Trapeze:  grasp the bar and hang with feet in pike position for ten seconds…repeat three times.   That is the INTENDED exercise.  For me, it was grasp the trapeze bar, hang (without letting the shoulders go up to my ears), and attempt to lift the feet of the floor.  They were dead weight (as was the rest of me hanging by my arms… all 215 pounds of me.   As long as I already posted the “before” pics, I might as well go all the way and admit my weight).   Ok, so more core exercises needed.   But I did hang in there for the required amount of time.

Parallel Bars:  I think there was another name for this apparatus because, although they were parallel, these bars were only about 6 inches high.  The idea was to hold the body up with the arms and lift legs into pike position.  Well, I held my butt off the floor.  Again, the legs refused to lift off the ground, so ok… more core exercises needed.

Silks Hammocks:  The intended exercise was to wrap the silks around the wrists and lift the legs into pike position.  Well, I managed to hang by my shoulder blades, but those legs weren’t going anywhere.  More core exercises needed.  But I did get my very first Warrior Wound!!!  I got a bruise from wrapping the silks around my wrists and hanging my dead weight from them!  Now I’m not going to go whole hog and post a pic on the Warrior Wound FaceBook Page just yet.  Let’s face it; not enough purple to warrant a good pic.  But just you wait… I will get boo-boos worth posting in no time!

The Wall:  Walking down the wall with our hands… the real trick is to keep the feet from slipping on the carpet.  I think I need some kind of rubber soul or something because my bare feet do keep slipping on me.   A good reminder that we were given about walking down the wall… relax your jaw and keep your tongue inside the mouth.  Falling on the face could lead to a severed tongue otherwise.  Words to the wise, ok?

As soon as I got home, it was right to the tub with the Epsom Salts.  I feel a bit sore, but quite frankly, I am very surprised that I am not in as much pain as I thought I would be.   It’s not because I’m not putting my all into my workouts… I am really, really trying my hardest.   But it is something I am thankful for at this point as I recover from the flu.  And if I HAD to get sick, I am very thankful that it came at the very beginning of this program and not in the middle.  How much would it have really sucked if I was getting stronger and really making progress only to be forced into regression by having to hit the sick couch?  So while being sick is a pain, at least the germs picked a good time to act up!

Altared Perceptions: March 2012- “Perception”

Published March 4, 2012 by Susan Woodward

According to Rev. Scott Taylor, “Perception is not always about getting it right; sometimes it’s about seeing it all–about noticing what we’re leaving out of the picture. Stepping back and getting a wider view doesn’t always come naturally. It takes work and intention, and some assistance.”

As I gazed at this month’s altar, I have to admit that my initial reaction was disappointment.  Not that it isn’t beautiful… it certainly is.  However, what I saw seemed so simplistic that I wondered what kind of meaning I could pull from it to tie in with this month’s theme of perception.  But then, after re-reading Scott’s words about stepping back and getting a wider view, I was also reminded of a wonderful quote from Wayne W. Dyer:

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

How’s that for gaining perspective?

And so I began to ask myself about the symbolic meaning of the chosen decorations… what message could I find in them for me this month that would help me in examining my own perceptions of the world?

First, I noticed the green background.  Green symbolizes growth and new beginnings… fitting for March as we await the Vernal Equinox and the promise of Spring.  I, too, am anxious for growth… growing past my fears and allowing myself to let new buds of knowledge and experience form as I enter the next phase of my life (I turned 50 two weeks ago, and evaluating what’s next has been predominant in my mind).  The areas I would like to tend and bring new growth to are in my writing and re-evaluating what I want to do with the rest of my life.  Am I making a difference with what I am doing?  Do I still have the same passion with all the added stress of the media view of public education and the mandates coming down from the state?  How do I perceive my role as an educator?  How AM I perceived by others?  The perception of students, parents, administrators, the general media, and even the governor sometimes has me wondering how much longer I might stay in this profession.  How can I truly grow in the classroom when I often feel constrained by the pressure of conforming to producing data on state tests?   Larger classes, administrative duties, added meetings… all these are taking time away from preparing for and doing what I truly want to do: teach.  Maybe if I can find another way to perceive what is going on, I can once again sense growth not only in my students, but in myself.

For the irises, I turned to a dictionary of flower symbolism, and this is what I found:

The flower symbolism associated with the iris is faith, wisdom, cherished friendship, hope, valor, and courage.  The iris is often used in Mary gardens because the blade-shaped foliage denotes the sorrows which ‘pierced her heart.’ Iris is a Greek name meaning “rainbow,” and in mythology, this is the name of a rainbow goddess (“Living Arts Originals”).

Altering perceptions in life definitely involves the list of qualities above, so how fitting to find an iris on this month’s altar!  How I perceive myself and my role in the educational field is certainly going to include having faith in myself, having the courage to stand up for what I feel is right for students in the classroom while being wise enough to still find a way to give the state what it wants, all the while hoping that I can strike that balance effectively.  On a personal level, I feel like the flower that has not yet fully bloomed.  I am not the tight bud because I am not closed off from the knowledge of what I need to do for myself, but I am nowhere near the full blossoms either.  I am that flower that is beginning to open to this new stage of life that holds such promise of beauty as long as I persevere on opening.

The iris is a perennial, its bulbs producing flowers year after year, unlike annuals that last for only one season.  I want the changes I make in my life at this new stage to be just as on-going instead of short lived.  Also, notice that the bulb is not planted in soil, but in a dish of water.  Its roots are not anchored to one place and is therefore more mobile, able to be moved easily.  This reminds me of the detached branches from last month’s altar… able to leave the trunk yet still flourish on their own.  It’s another reminder of freeing myself from anything that binds me… including the public education system if need be one day.

The piece of driftwood at the forefront of the altar is another reminder of this.  It is wood that broke away from its source and, usually via water, made its way in the world.  At first look, it seems to simply be a dead piece of wood that serves no purpose; yet if that is true, why do so many people collect it and put it in their gardens?  It may have been worn down by time and no longer produces any new  growth, but it is still revered as an object of beauty.  Who knows where this piece of wood originated as it broke away from the tree and moved on?  Who knows what it has seen of the world?  That’s how I’d like to view myself in my old age: a piece of driftwood that managed to detach itself, travel around, and still remain an object of beauty.  For something that appears at first glance to have no use, driftwood is still perceived by many as nature’s artwork… otherwise, why would people bother to pick it up and take it home for display?

Finally, we have the pussy willows.  I again turned to a dictionary of symbolism for their meaning:

The flower symbolism associated with pussy willows is motherhood. When grown commercially, pussy willow shoots are picked just as the buds expand in spring, and can last indefinitely once dried. The branches can be put in vases or the buds can be used for table decoration. Pussy willows are one of the earliest signs of spring (“Living Arts Originals”).

Another early sign of spring, like the iris and the green background… but notice that it says that the pussy willow can last indefinitely.  That’s what I want for the changes I wish to make in my life; I want them to be indefinite, not just for a season.  As a symbol of motherhood, I am reminded of my own role as a mother, and how my love for them is indefinite… even if I someday detach myself and make my own path elsewhere.  These pussy willows have been cut from their source, yet their simplistic beauty will linger.  That’s what I want for my relationship with my children.  Whether they are the ones to uproot and move onward or I am, I want them to know that my love will always be with them.

From my original perception of simplicity in this month’s altar, I am surprised and pleased by what I have found in taking the time to explore its beauty and finding meaning there for me.  Reiterating what Wayne W. Dyer said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

Source:

“Living Arts Originals.”  2008-2011.  <http://livingartsoriginals.com&gt;.

“Metamorphisis”

Published October 16, 2011 by Susan Woodward

Your touch has cracked the

Crystal chrysalis ‘round my heart,                                                           metamorphisis

Thawing its icy exterior with a kiss.

And now the dilemma…

Shall I hold back, waiting,

Hoping you will peel this shell away,

Or do I burst forth

To test these new wings,

Daring to love again?

 

You give me the strength to try…

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