What do I yearn for?  Wow… I would think that would be an easy one: love, financial security, career satisfaction; however, when I think about the diction, I wonder if “yearning” is the correct term for those things on my list.  I know that they are things I really want to have, but wouldn’t those fall on everyone’s list?  So then would that mean we all yearn for the same things?

I don’t think that’s what the spiritual assignment is.  So I have to ask myself again: “Susan, what do you yearn for?”

As I studied this month’s church decor that reflects the monthly theme, I actually didn’t see what other people said they saw.   When I met with the Creative Team Soul Matters group and we talked about the decor, everyone else talked about the flowers they’d made.  Now I have been away from the Creative Team for three months because of the Cirque du Rochester Challenge, so I didn’t have a part in making these; however, I didn’t see flowers when I looked at the wall.

I saw explosions of color, like fireworks.

After all the dreariness of winter with its grey skies, early darkness, sloshy mud (since we had very little snow), it was the plethora of color that leapt off the wall at me.  Ohhh… I cannot WAIT for color to appear!   I actually yearn for it…

WAIT!  That’s what I yearn for!!  I yearn for more color in my life!   Doldrums and dreariness, be gone!   Bring on the colors of spring and lead me into summer (oh, please lead me into summer…)!   I am tired of the drab I have been experiencing with the weather, but I also want to pluck out the 50 shades of grey from my heart (and not THOSE 50 Shades of Grey!).

I have been working toward that end with the whole Challenge… coloring my life by getting outside my own four walls and doing something new.  I have more color in my cheeks from exercise.   I’ll bet I have more color in my lungs now that they are not sooty and black from smoking!  And at times, pushing myself beyond my former limits led to a bit of colorful language.

Anyone who really knows me and sees me on a regular basis can tell you what is the main staple of my wardrobe.   Basic black.  I wear black all the time.  I guess it’s easier to mix and match other pieces with black pants… but more often than not, it’s also a black top as well.   I think I chose black because it is more “slimming”… well with my coloring, I think it also makes me even more washed out, especially in the winter.

I am trying to wear more colors.  A few months ago, I bought some little jackets in bright colors that I do like to wear… with black pants.  I think I am afraid to wear other-than-black pants… that is something I will definitely have to work on.

So back to yearning and how I long for more color in my life.  What KIND of color do I want?  Colorful foods?  Colorful visions?  Colorful friendships?  A colorful relationship?  I guess I’d like a sampling of all of the above, please!  I want to open that Crayola box and start digging around!

Well, it is very true that the idea of doing the Color Run is appealing because of the color-shots one will get along the way (huh..ironically, the Dirty Girl also appeals to me… with the stand-out color being brown mud…).  There was one held in Louisiana just yesterday, and I was looking at the pictures online… what LIFE is in those faces!  And I want to be a part of that!!

I yearn to be more lively, more energetic, more outgoing… to be more colorful!  Colors make people smile… and I don’t do enough of that.  Sometimes I get so overwhelmingly sad, right out of the blue (pun intended).   I think that happens when I allow the dreariness of the season to creep in on my heart… and in April, it’s a time to yearn for green trees, green grass, blue skies, yellow daffodils, red and pink tulips.  But when it SNOWS on April 20th, there’s a problem!!!

I am making those changes in my life… I will ditch some of my black wardrobe.  Heck, the last exercise outfit I bought was bright orange (well, not the pants… they were black…).  But at least the top was neon colored!

I am juicing with brightly colored fruits and vegetables every morning.

I am carrying a lovely purple bag filled with my exercise clothes to the YMCA on a regular basis.

And I just dyed that grey right outta my hair!

So… what do I yearn for?  I yearn for a more colorful existence!   And one thing that will help bring that about will be my participation in the Buffalo Color Run on August 17.

I yearn to color me happy!