Hesitations: Refusing to Return

Published October 16, 2011 by Susan Woodward

Close your eyes and relax. Now take three deep breaths: one for body, one for mind, and one for spirit. Take one last very deep breath and hold it. Just when you think you cannot hold the breath any longer, pull in just a bit more air. Again, when you feel as if you cannot continue holding the breath, pull in just a little more. When you finally do release your breath, do so very slowly in a long continuous exhale until you have released all that you were holding. Breathe slowly and deeply as you continue to relax. Relax all the muscles of your body: your legs, your arms, your shoulders, and your jaw. Completely relax.

Imagine that you are sinking down into the furniture, and in turn sinking through the floor. Allow yourself to continue sinking down and down, all the while feeling completely relaxed. You continue to sink down until you find yourself awakening after a satisfying rest.

You are so comfortable in the wonderfully soft bed that you almost don’t wish to get up.  Stretching cat-like, wallow in the luxury of the pillows and the warmth of the blankets.  The stress of having to move forward has alleviated, and you begin to feel a bit lazy after having traveled so far.  How do you feel as you wake up without the sensation of urgency?  Look around the room.  Describe what you see in great detail.  How does being here make you feel?  Looking toward a small table nearby, you notice that a tray has been placed for you.  A highly polished silver lid makes you curious to lift it to see the breakfast that awaits you.  Step out of bed and lift the cover from the dish.  What has been prepared for you?  Breathe in deeply, appreciating the tantalizing aroma that makes your mouth water.  You are surprised that you are even hungry at all after the feasting of the previous evening, but a familiar rumble begins once the scent reaches your nostrils.  Sit down in the well-padded chair and partake of your breakfast with gusto.

While you are eating, your eye falls upon your wonderful reward that you earned for the completion of your task.  Bask once again in the feelings of success.  What goes through your mind as you look at your reward?  How do you plan to use it?

Another thought creeps into your mind, causing you to pause in contemplation.  What if you had not been successful in this journey?  How might you feel if you had not been able to do what you had set out to?  How might things have turned out differently if you’d failed at this attempt?  Thinking about this possibility, you walk towards your reward and hold it in your hand.  What if this could not have been yours?  Would you feel differently about yourself?  How do you suppose others might have viewed your failure?

Shaking the thoughts off, you turn once more to your breakfast and clear your plate.  Your stomach and your pallet are now satisfied, and so you begin to stretch once more.  This place just feels so comfortable right now, and you wish you could stay here.  One thing you know, though, is that this is not your home.  While it has been a challenge to finally arrive, the quest is now complete.  You’ve done what you’d set out to do, and there is no reason to stay.  Actually, now that you have accomplished this task, you feel a sense of urgency to return home to share the experience with others.

Whom do you intend to tell about your adventures?  What do you hope will come from sharing what you’ve learned?  Who can benefit the most?

Even though you know that you must get ready to leave, it just feels so comfortable here.  The food is delicious, the service is great, and the bed is luxurious.  It’s hard to leave knowing that you have a long journey back.

Turning toward the bed as if to crawl back in to take a nap, you notice that the bed has mysteriously been made and your cleaned garment is laid out for you in preparation for travel.  As much as you’d love to get back into the bed and just relax, you realize that it is important for you to move on.  People are waiting for you back home.

Before leaving, you decide that a hot shower is just what you need to get you motivated.  Turn the water in the shower as hot as you can comfortably stand it, and step beneath the pulsating stream.  Pick up the soap and drink in its fragrance.  What does it smell like?  Why might the scent be significant for your return journey?  What does it remind you of?  Allow the hot water to pour over your head.  Close your eyes and feel it pulsating against your skull.  The sensation is hypnotic and even though your muscles become more relaxed, your spirit becomes more energized for the upcoming journey.  Stand there and let the water just come down over your head.  Breathe deeply and know that you are ready to share what you’ve learned.  Feel yourself drifting away into the darkness behind your closed eyelids. Begin to feel yourself slowly rising from the shower. As you rise, you become more and more aware of your surroundings, and soon you are able to sense the furniture beneath you. This is the room from which you began this journey not so very long ago. As you become more and more aware of the room around you, you think about the message that you know you must share with others. The feelings stemming from knowing that you have a gift to share will stay with you as you awaken from your rest.

Taking three deep breaths, one for body, one for mind, and one for spirit, you open your eyes to find yourself in a familiar place.


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