“False Friend”

Published October 16, 2011 by Susan Woodward

Must you hurt me again and again?

How will I ever know love if you constantly

Pull me in the wrong direction?

Oh, I thought I’d had it at times

But control, lust, anger and fear got in the way…

Yeah, all that directed at me

As if I were an unappealing force to be reckoned with

And broken

While I stood there taking it

But not accepting it,

Trembling inside.

 

How could you let me get here this time?

What is it about you

That allows me to make these same mistakes?

I thought you were so smart…

 

Pain so deep I can’t cry it out;

Not enough tears to wash it away,

Hanging on a “maybe” as if it meant “yes”

Only to be disappointed again,

Crying myself to sleep.

 

Why can’t anyone love me?

Or should I say “won’t” ‘cause love is a decision.

All deciding I’m not good enough

Either by walking away

Or else trying to change me,

Make me conform to their image of what I “ought” to be…

Not someone to love as I am, huh?

 

Stop looking at me like that,

Like I should know better!

Maybe if you spoke up once in a while

My heart would be spared a trampling or two!

 

With a cry of frustration

I lash out in my hurt,

Propelling my fist full force into your face

Only to pick glass from bleeding knuckles.

 

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